Is it Love? Part 1

As Sheila placed her head on her pillow she closed her eyes thinking about the events of her day. Some parts seemed to flash forward and other thoughts lingered on the very moments that she knew she would never forget. You see Sheila had woken up that morning from that same bed anticipating the events of the day. Maybe to you it wasn't very interesting, but to her there was one highlight that made her feel like the bubbles in a champagne bottle right before the cork is released. That feeling..you know...that excitement that you can't quite describe. Well Sheila couldn't wait to get started. She hopped in the shower, “lotioned up” and then moved along her morning routine of unraveling her hair so each roller would reveal an array of perfect curls. After she got dressed she knew she was on her way to having a perfect day.

Sheila's doorbell rang thirty minutes after she finished getting ready. She felt flustered. A warm feeling of joy filled her as she opened the door. This was one moment where she lingered on in her memory that night. Her highlight had come. His name was James, James Cadet.

James saw Sheila and couldn't help but smile after she had opened the door. He wondered what was it about this woman that made him feel like nothing could possibly ruin his day as long as she was in his presence.

He said, “Hey, I came to pick up my girl Sheila, I know this is her house but I think I'm looking at someone who looks better then her. Forget Sheila, what's your name?”

As James said this to Sheila, he waited for that moment. It’s that moment when he knows her eyes will light up and the beauty of her smile seems to always be one of the bests things to see every single time he's with her. Sheila swats him on the arm and looks up into his eyes as she receives a kiss and a warm embrace. Sheila still cannot get over how good it feels to be held by him. James envelopes her body knowing just how good she feels and smells every time he goes in for a hug.

The events of the next few hours seemed to flash forward as they left Sheila's house and headed towards the apple orchard. Sheila had never been apple picking as she was a bonafide city girl. However, when James suggested this to her, she thought it was a wonderful idea.As Sheila begins to close her eyes that night her thoughts lingered on her favorite bits and pieces of her experience. James teasing her as she tried to reach an apple and realized she couldn't do it.

“Dag Sheila you have some serious height issues going on there. It’s a good thing you're dating a tall brother like me or you'd be going home with 2-3 apples in you bag!!”

She started laughing, demanded his help as he reached over and grabbed several apples from the tree. She remembered moments like him grabbing her hand as they moved along deeper in the orchard. The way he laughed when she was trying to be serious and he would try to break her concentration by saying something funny. The way he would look at her intently as she told a story from her past.

James loved to watch her facial expressions whenever they were having a conversation. He was guilty of taking in her beauty as she spoke, however he knew if he lingered to long he'd miss out on what she was saying. He felt amazing when she would occasionally stop and realize they weren't holding hands and she'd reach out and grab his.

James kisses Shelia goodbye, gets one more whiff of her hair during an extended hug and tells her “Goodnight, Lelia” and walks to his car to drive home. As they both get ready for bed, as Shelia drifts off to sleep their thoughts lead to this...I think its Love…

Do you think they are in Love? How do you know when you're in Love?

The Other Woman

As Brittney and Kevin arrived at the restaurant, Brittney was really excited about spending time with this amazing man she had met six months ago. Things have been going extremely well and he seemed to be such a great match for her. The only thing that she just can’t get past is Kevin’s friendship with this woman who has been in his life for the last 5 years. They’ve always been very close, and Kevin has assured her that there is certainly nothing going on between them. However, she can’t help but think if there’s more hidden under the surface. Is it really possible for them to talk and have spent all this time together without there being any sparks flying? It’s not something she dwells on, but from time to time when he makes references to her during conversations she can’t help but think about it. They even spend more than 45mins chatting on the phone. Is it fair to ask him to limit the time he spends with her if they have been dating exclusively?


Are her concerns valid?

What do you think she should do?


Kevin has been dating this wonderful sexy woman for the past six months and has to admit that things have been going well. The only thing that he notices is that she tends to either get a bit quiet or changes the subject whenever he mentions his friend Sandra. Now Sandra has been his friend for quite sometime and many say that women and men can’t be friends but nothing has ever happened between them and he doesn’t want to ignore or throw away the friendship he has with her just because he’s with Brittney now. If anything, Sandra helps him whenever he may have an issue with Brittney and she gives him a wealth of great advice on a lot of life’s challenges. Sandra has helped him get through some tough times in his life and he appreciates her friendship. Kevin doesn’t think that anything should have to change when he has a girlfriend. Sandra is just a friend and that’s that…..

What would you do if you were Kevin?

Would you change anything?

Does anything have to change when you’re exclusively dating someone and you have friends of the opposite sex?

Thanks For Reading!! Please tell me your thoughts! :-D

Just_Wondering

Measure of A Man Part 2

So I’m sure you all noticed that the “Measure of a Man” post below happens to be Part 1 and there has to be a Part 2. To be honest I didn’t know what that would be until today. I wanted to get everyone’s responses, then ponder on what the next part would be so check it out.

As I go through my life, I often wonder how much of what I want is really what I want. Are these desires stemming from within me or is society, my culture, my parents, or my religion pushing me into things I’d want for my life. I’m a spiritual person and I talk to God about everything. I wonder what He wants me to do with my life, how He’d like me to live it, how I affect the people around me, and most importantly I just want a relationship with Him so that He can work through me so that way He gets all the credit. But this journey of mine with God is a process and things are revealed to me one step at a time. So for me I want to make sure that me and God are on the same page.

So let me get to the point... lol After reading everyone’s comment, I wondered about what role men really play in a woman’s life these days. I mean, I’m one of four girls and my Dad raised us to be independent and focused on reaching our goals. Where does a man fit into this entire idea of I’m “independent…I don’t need anyone to help me…I can get the house the car all on my own and a career going....thank you very much!” Not to say that we should be depending on a man for any material things. I'm not talking to superficial woman right now. I'm talking to those who have reached or is working towards reaching all their career goals, maybe the material things that you know you want etc....

Where does a man fit in?? Let me be the Male species’ advocate and ask the ladies:

What role would you want a man to play in your life?

Forget about your list of expectations and standards for one second…

Tell me why you feel the desire to have a man in your life?? Not that I’m saying that you NEED one lol But why is it a desire of yours to have someone in your life and where did that desire come from? Be honest now!

As for those Men out there don’t think I’m leaving you out. I want you to answer this question:

What role do you think you play in a woman’s life?

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this!

Measure of A Man Part 1

A friend of mine went the gym the other day and she happened to have a conversation with a fellow gym goer about men, women, and dating. It struck me as very interesting conversation so I decided to post a question to you all.

So the topic of discussion was how women have failed in keeping our standards high causing us to settle for less when it comes to men that we choose to be in a relationship with.

His Stats: Mr. Gym goer was described as an African American in his late 30s early 40s, married with two children 2year old and 7years old. He stated that he was at the gym trying to keep himself together and physically fit even though his time is very limited.

Her Stats: African American in her late 20s, single and goes to the gym to stay fit and be healthy.

His Statement:

“If all women were to increase their standards in terms of what they wanted in a mate then men would have no choice but to reach those standards.” The key word in his statement is ALL women not some…but ALL!

Her Statement:

“But not every woman has the same standards. If my standards are set 20 feet above average I may be all by myself. Some men may not want to meet my standards because they are set to high”

His Statement:

“But that’s why women shouldn’t settle for a Joe Shmo from around the way. If the guy is not ambitious, aspiring to do more with his life or trying to meet goals then that man won’t do anything within a relationship. Especially if you’re saying you’re comfortable settling for less. Women have to make men work harder! If all women do it then they wouldn’t have a choice.”

Her Statement:

“I understand what you are trying to say but many of the men women encounter today don’t even know where to begin in order to meet the minimal standards. So women find themselves setting low expectations, hoping that it will produce higher results. The sad part about having low expectations is that you end up settling for less when you should be getting so much more. I feel that there are so much more Joe Shomos out there doing less then those who are above average in meeting my standards.

So I ask you all out there what do you think?

Do you think that Women are setting low standards and if so do you think that men will rise to higher expectations if the standards were to increase?

Are woman asking for too much?

Men please Speak up! lol

Hit me up with a comment! I want to hear when you have to say on this topic.

Great Date Ideas- No More Dinner & The Movies Again..& Again

So you've been dating someone for a few months or year or whatever and you notice something about the dates. You've started to fall into this incredibly boring trend of going to Dinner & The Movies. I mean don't get me wrong I love a great movie and a good food but has dating official anthem become "Dinner & Movie." People can't come up with some variety anymore. Where is the creativity?!?!? Have we run out of ideas? So I ask what’s your list of ideas for dates? What have you tried in the past or would want to try that’s better than the same ole dinner and a movie??

How we feel vs How Much You Spend

I was Just Wondering….How much do you spend on a guy or girl you’ve been dating for a little over 6 months to a year? I mean what if you needed a laptop and your boo buys it for your birthday…when his/her birthday rolls around do you feel pressured to buy something of great value even though you can’t afford it? What do you do? When we purchase items for the people we are dating, are our feelings towards them measured by the monetary value of those gifts?