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Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Other Woman

As Brittney and Kevin arrived at the restaurant, Brittney was really excited about spending time with this amazing man she had met six months ago. Things have been going extremely well and he seemed to be such a great match for her. The only thing that she just can’t get past is Kevin’s friendship with this woman who has been in his life for the last 5 years. They’ve always been very close, and Kevin has assured her that there is certainly nothing going on between them. However, she can’t help but think if there’s more hidden under the surface. Is it really possible for them to talk and have spent all this time together without there being any sparks flying? It’s not something she dwells on, but from time to time when he makes references to her during conversations she can’t help but think about it. They even spend more than 45mins chatting on the phone. Is it fair to ask him to limit the time he spends with her if they have been dating exclusively?

Are her concerns valid?

What do you think she should do?

Kevin has been dating this wonderful sexy woman for the past six months and has to admit that things have been going well. The only thing that he notices is that she tends to either get a bit quiet or changes the subject whenever he mentions his friend Sandra. Now Sandra has been his friend for quite sometime and many say that women and men can’t be friends but nothing has ever happened between them and he doesn’t want to ignore or throw away the friendship he has with her just because he’s with Brittney now. If anything, Sandra helps him whenever he may have an issue with Brittney and she gives him a wealth of great advice on a lot of life’s challenges. Sandra has helped him get through some tough times in his life and he appreciates her friendship. Kevin doesn’t think that anything should have to change when he has a girlfriend. Sandra is just a friend and that’s that…..

What would you do if you were Kevin?

Would you change anything?

Does anything have to change when you’re exclusively dating someone and you have friends of the opposite sex?

Thanks For Reading!! Please tell me your thoughts! :-D



Amina said...

Brittney needs to chill and trust her man. My two best friends..actually one of my best friend, I consider him as a soulmate ( i believe in different soulmates), are males. We usually spend 3 hours on the phone even more..if I have a boyfriend, he needs to accept and I think when Kevin talks about Sandra, he's trying to include Brittney in the details of their relationship.

So I'll tell Brittney to chill because yes, friendship between a man and a woman is possible plus Sandra can prevent Kevin from buying a horrid

when one of my best friend was dating,her girlfriend felt threatened by me and when she met me, she quizzed me and even asked me whether i've been attracted to my friend. I was horrified!!!!!

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

As long as I know who she is and there isn't any walking away to take her call or I can't talk now, I'll have to call you back.... I'm fine with it. Dr. Phil says if you wouldn't do it in front of your significant other, then the behavior must be unacceptable. I agree.

Love, peace and continued blessings!
Hope you had a Happy Easter!

Product Junkie Diva said...

You would hate to kick a long time pal to the curb and then later break up with your significant other and suddenly realize your friend is gone too.
As long as he doesnt neglect his woman or exclude her from activities things may be ok. However I must say that I dont like the talking about his relationship with his friend because while he may not like her he doesnt know her deepest desires. He should talk relationship problems over with his gf or is parents or someone else especially if his gal is uncomfortable about the relationship. Even though she may now know they spoke,he should want to make his future wife comfortable.

MilesPerHour said...

I live this scenario. I have a good female friend who my GF distrusts. She has a male friend who I distrust. The difference is that my friend and I were never intimate. Her friend and she have been before I was in the picture. Top that off with him trying to get her back despite knowing about me.

Now I must say that my GF has never ever given me any reason not to trust her. Her friend and she talk a couple times a month I would guess. As far as I know she hasn't even seen him for the 2 1/2 years we have been together.

Although it hurts and bugs me to no end, I trust GF with no doubts. I need to keep my male ego in check. The past is the past.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

I would give the situation time and get to know the friend. I'm very intuitive, but if I weren't simple observation would be the litmus test. I think they would have explored a relationship by now if he was interested in her (although I can't talk because it took 12 years for me to become physically close to one of my friends...but I digress). She may find that their relationship is just a mutual friendship. One thing I wouldn't do is get territorial 6 months into a relationship, guys see that as being held down and that sends a red flag.

mr. nichols said...

Yes, Brittney needs to chill and trust. And Kevin needs to do what you can to reassure her that there's nothing there. Great blog!

My wife and I recently started a blog, documenting our first 100 days as a married couple. check it out:

MoMo said...

Good post, trust is the most important part of a relationship. I don't think you can really love someone and be happy with that someone without trust. Take everything with a grain of salt and pay it forward until that person gives you a reason not to.

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