Who is looking back at you in the Mirror?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to tell your friend/family member/girlfriend/boyfriend something about their personality that isn’t the nicest?

It’s a very hard task to say to someone…

“You’re so negative..”

“You have so much going for yourself but you’re ungrateful for the things you have.”

“You can’t be independent…you always seem to need my help even if the task is simple.”

“You never say thank you”

“You complain too much….way too much”

“You don’t make an effort to spend time with me”

“I feel like everyone else in your life is important and I’m at the bottom of your list” “You’re never encouraging”

“You’re impatient”

“You always have to be right..”

“You never listen to me….”

“You’re judgmental”

“You’re selfish”

“You’re not making an effort to make things work”

“You’re self centered”

“You’re not sensitive to my situation”

I’ve told someone some of these things and it didn’t turn out very well. I had so many concerns that I didn’t share that it was dumped on the person all at the same time. I was essentially asking for a complete personality change, which wouldn’t be fair to either of us. So it ended there. I walked away leaving the lasting impression being all the things that I didn’t like and I wonder if those things were ever addressed after so many years.

Sometimes these personality traits are unbearable and you feel like after some time it’s something that has to be said. Once the cat is out of the bag…you find yourself with someone who gets so angry they never make any changes at all…. Or they make changes to make you feel better or for themselves to feel better but essentially the change is short lived. Lastly, there’s the person that is willing to change for the better for themselves and the future of their relationships.

So tell me have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to tell someone something about their personality? How did you do it? How did it end up?

Has anyone told you about something about your personality? How did you feel when it happened? Did you eventually make any changes?

Those Words Hurt So Much

Oh my Goodness…..I said something I shouldn’t have said. How could I have let my anger, my emotions, my pain get the best of me? Why didn’t I just take the time to think about it before the words flew out of my mouth? What do I do now? All I can think about is how she feels right now. What would it be like to hear those words coming out of her mouth?

Words are very powerful…They can build confidence and can also make you feel lower then you’ve ever felt. Words can stay with you and you can hear something hurtful being played in your head over and over again. Someone can trigger a distant memory by mentioning a phrase that can have your mind reeling for the entire day and can also lead to sleepless nights

I said something hurtful two weeks ago to someone that I care about. In that moment when it happened, I couldn’t contain how I was feeling. I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone to say what I wanted so I opted to send it via text (something I don’t recommend but under the circumstances I really didn’t want to speak on the phone) So I typed one word after the next as I felt like I was giving birth to a ball of pain. Although I care about this dear friend of mine, I didn’t really take the time to choose my words wisely. I wanted to express one thing….but in turn I communicated something totally different. In the end, my friend was hurt.

See I didn’t know how bad it was until I took a break for a few days because I was hurting too. I prayed about getting my peace back and then thought that it would be best to meet up. When we met up and we talked about everything….Oh My….I really made my friend feel horrible…I did all that I could to fix the problem…I said sorry….I explained my actions….I wish I could take it all back….but I couldn’t.

So I went home thinking about how much my words weigh…How they would have felt if thrown in my direction from someone who I thought cared about me? I wanted to pick up the phone and say that I was sooooooo sorry…over…and over…and over again.

How do you fix the situation when you’ve said something hurtful?

Do you feel you should say sorry just once?

Do you ever try to put yourself in that person’s shoes?

What have you learned after the situation was repaired?