Sunday, July 27, 2008
Jeremiah walks into the office like any other Monday just wondering where the weekend had gone. He thought to himself "Wow what the heck did I do all weekend! Wasn't it just friday??" He says Good Morning to his coworkers and settles down in his office to continue working on a special project. After an hour or so, his supervisor, Mr.Richards gives him a call and tells him to come into his office to meet the new accountant that would be working on all the accounts for the company.
Jeremiah tells his supervisor that he'll be right in and saves his work before leaving his desk.
As Jeremiah walks into Mr.Richards' office he sees a woman sitting at the desk from behind. "Oh it's a woman" was the first thought that came to his mind.
Mr.Richards looks up and says, "Oh Jeremiah, I’m glad you came in so quickly. I'd like to introduce you to Jolie Foster our new accountant. "
Jolie Foster rises from her chair to turn and greet Jeremiah. Jeremiah takes his first glimpse at Jolie's face and immediately notices her beautiful bright smile, then her amazingly smooth milk chocolate skin and finally rested on her eyes.
He was taken by her beauty and thought "DAMMNNNNNN THANK GOD FOR MONDAY MORNINGS!" LOL
He noticed that what stood before him was one wonderful package from the ends of her newly cut hair to the bottom of her 2 1/2 inch heels. It only took a few seconds to do a once over and he knew instantly that he was attracted to her.
He shakes her hand and says, "Well Ms. Foster it's wonderful to meet you and I welcome you to the company."
Meanwhile what he's really thinking sounds more like "Uh Uh Uh…. Ms. Jolie....I hope we cross paths REAL soon because I wouldn't mind taking your fine self to dinner!"
He releases her hand and they continue to make small talk. After a few minutes, Jeremiah heads back to his office wondering about this woman he just met at work. Monday didn't seem so mundane after all.
So to my readers...I ask you these questions....
Have you ever been in a situation where you've dated a coworker? What was it like?
If someone approached you at work and showed interest or asked you out how would you handle the situation?
How do you feel about dating someone from work whether it's someone from the office you are working in or a "Hottie" from another department/floor??
If you started dating the person how would you precede with the relationship (e.g. keep afterwork affairs afterwork, or tell a fellow cowoker about your new found love.)
Gimme Your Comments!!! I'm nosy about this topic!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Have you ever been so mad that you were at a loss for words? Have you ever felt so angry that every time you had an idle moment, you’d remember what happened and play the events over in your head only to get mad all over again. We’ve all had these moments and recently I’ve come to realize that when I do have them I try not to take it out on others around me. I mean honestly how fair is it to get pissed off at a family member or your Boo/husband when someone else got on your nerves. However, for some people it’s a natural reaction. You get mad, stay mad, and you make sure everyone knows you’re mad!!
I just came back from a walk because I was so upset that I couldn’t possibly stay in the environment I was in. I had to escape!! I played words over and over in my head and I felt my like steam was rising up in me. Now I don’t often feel like this but some people just know the right buttons to push to send you to MADville!! I JUST KNEW I had to get away from the situation. I knew the best way to deal was not to stay and yell or say things I don’t mean but rather take some time to cool down. (It’s pretty cool working out when you’re mad lol makes the workout fly by) So I cooled down… I came back and I was thankful that I walked away….
So I ask you about your anger management techniques….Why don’t you fill in the blank….
When I get mad I feel like a__________??
Then tell us: How do you react when you get heated (e.g. yell, leave, get quiet)?
After you get into an argument with someone how do you treat others around you?
What do you do to calm yourself down?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
After giving everyone a chance to share their thoughts on the topic of internet dating, I thought it would be a great idea to give those of you who have never tried it (including me lol) some insight on what the process is really like. So as Part 2 of the Internet dating series, I wanted to get a female's perspective on the topic. Ladies and gentleman I introduce you to Liza Rojas!
Liza is a 30 year old
L: “I can't really remember exactly how many men I have dated. I would say 10-12 people within the last 5 years. I am not a serial dater type of girl lol. On my first date...I was actually really excited and nervous to meet him. I felt this way because we had good chemistry on-line and he sounded really romantic and sweet. I felt nervous because it was only natural to feel that way. I always feel slightly nervous on first dates. The only thing I was concerned about was the visibility of his picture on-line. I couldn't see what he looked like because his picture was somewhat fuzzy. Despite my concerns, I decided to meet him. When I finally arrived, I saw him on the corner waiting for me. We introduced ourselves and walk into the cafe together. After about 20 minutes, my feelings of nervousness disappeared. The date went well. We spoke for 2-3 hours. He was very polite and respectful. However, I did not feel enough chemistry to have a second date.”
JW: “What are some of the essential aspects of someone's profile that you look out for and why?”
L: “Looking for profiles of potential interest is extremely important to me. I would say this is the most tedious part of internet dating. That's of course..if you are serious about meeting a significant other or a husband. Of course, I have to be attracted to the person. That doesn't mean I'm looking for the next Brad Pitt. What am I saying is...I have to be attracted to him both intellectually and physically. If I had to choose between the two...I looked for someone with great intellect. When looking for a profile...I focus on the written portion. Based on that, I am able to answer these questions for myself: "Is he educated? Can he express his wants and needs in a relationship? Does he appear sincere and caring? Does he have a good relationship with family and friends? Does he appear bitter and fed up with relationships? Is he self absorbed? Is he looking for a good time in the bedroom?""I ask myself these questions because it determines whether I will be compatible with him. It also helps me to know if the person is caring, sensitive to my needs, actively listens consistently, responsible, goal-oriented, and has good communication skills and is capable of having meaningful relationships with people, and actually wants to find the love of his life. By having these qualities I can feel confident that he will be there to pick me up on my 2 feet during the tough times. When I find that great profile...I do not hesitate to initiate conversation. I jump on it quickly!! What do you have to lose? The worst thing that could happen is he never responds back. OH well....don't let that phase you! Keep positive and move it along!!”
JW: What are some of the challenges that you face during the entire process?"
L: "Internet dating is very time consuming. In the beginning it was really fun. I was constantly on-line talking with 2-3 different people at a time. I was online searching the net and talking on the phone 20 hours a week. It really felt like a 2nd job. As I entered graduate school, the hours online and on the phone were significantly decreased making my chances of meeting someone very slim! Other challenges I faced were with the actual people I was dating. At that time I was in my late 20s. I met people who did not represent themselves as they did online and on the phone. They wanted to hit the sheets very quickly on the actual first date. So, you really have to smell this behavior coming and remove yourself from the date quickly. "
"Another challenge I faced was finding great chemistry with people....that connection filled with lots of energy. The third challenge was deciding whether I should date someone who has been married with children. As I get older I am finding that more people have children from previous marriages. Do I really want to deal with baby mamma drama?? I feel like I have no choice. The divorce rate is 50% in United States. I may make an exception depending on the circumstance. I haven't come to a decision on that yet. Honestly, whether I am dating online or going to the bars to meet someone....the challenges are the same. The only difference is your saving money on cocktails and entrance fees for the bar and clubs."
JW: "How long did your relationships last?"
L: "In my own experience, my relationships have not lasted very long. The longest relationship was 4 months."JW: "Do you feel that everyone should give it a try and if so what advice would you give to a 1st timer?"
Yes, I feel everyone should give internet dating a try. Each experience is different. I know some people may feel apprehensive about it. I totally understand. I was in their shoes once before. Do some research, talk with other people who have been on-line dating for a few years and get their perspective on the topic. I think people should keep their options open. In this day and age, it is quite normal to use internet dating services to meet people. To help myself adjust to the World of Internet Dating, I signed on with a friend. When I went on dates, I always chose a close location to meet and I gave my friends the address of where I was going. I also gave my password and user ID to my family and friends.
I had the dates early in the day and kept it very short (2-3 hours tops!). I truly believe that it no different from meeting the guy or girl in the club and him/her asking to hang out the next week. You barely know the guy or girl. He is probably drunk anyway and can't even remember your name the next day lol. At least online....you can read what they are all about and what their intentions are when finding a potential candidate to date. If you are not comfortable with it just yet....try other alternatives. For example, taking dance classes, exercise classes and asking friends to put out the word out that you want to meet new people. Maybe they can arrange a blind date. Eventually, maybe one day you will get the courage to get-online to date.
JW: “If you've been internet dating for more then 5yrs how has it changed, if at all, over time?”L: “The only change I have seen is more people are open to talking about their own experiences with internet dating. I find that people my age like those at work or I heard through other friends, are currently doing the online dating or have at least tried it. I also see more commercials and advertisements. It appears to be becoming the norm to find someone of interest online. In the past it used to be more of secret. It was something that a person would do on the down low.”
JW: "Lastly, any funny stories you would like to share about internet dating?"
L: "I met this guy who was a dectective I was really attracted to him, he seemed very sincere, and genuine. He had a daughter (as you already know I wasn't really up for dating someone with children) however, he seemed to have a really good relationship with her and I thought I'd give it a shot. We went out two times and he seemed interested in me but he didn't call me for a week and a half. When I was ready to write him off lol, he finally called and I decided to go out with him again. We had a nice time talking and getting to know more about each other. But then after that 3rd date he didn't call me back. I didn't get disappointed because you're not met to make a connection with everyone you meet otherwise dating wouldn't exist LOL."
"So after some time another attractive guy contacted me and I found out he was a detective who also seemed very sincere and great to talk to! He also had a child and commented that he frequently goes to visit his child in the same location as the 1st detective. I was surprised and I started to find a connection between two men because their stories sounded very similar."
"THEN homeboy tells me he has a brother! I threw 3 questions his way to find out if the two were related and I found out that they were faternal TWINS!!! I told him that I dated his brother and that it didn't work out. I didn't feel comfortable going out on a date with him even though he expressed interest after finding out I went out with his brother! GO FIGURE! ANND HE WAS SUCH A CUTIE!!"
Was there anything you found to be interesting about the information she provided?
Do you have any more questions you'd like to ask her?
You always have to get two or more sides to any situation or any hot topic out there!! So of course it's only fair to hear a Male’s Perspective so I decided to interview a fellow blogger Marcus Langford on his experience.
Marcus is a 29 year old African American Male residing in
Now lets find out what Internet Dating is all about from Marcus' Perspective!
JW: "When did you begin internet dating, how long have you been doing it and why did you become interested in it?"
ML: "I began Internet dating back in 2001. After I split from my ex-wife, I went to the Internet to find my next date and it proved successful. I didn't join any dating sites, I simply joined a social networking site [BlackPlanet.com]. Since I don't like to go out and meet women, the Internet was an easy way to meet women of interest."
JW:"How many women have you met in person and how did you feel during your first date ever?"
ML: "I have actually met several women in person from the Internet, but I didn't date all of them; that wasn't necessarily the goal in mind. The majority of them are current friends of mine. Two of them, I dated for some period of time, but eventually we went our separate ways. The first date I had with with a young lady from the Internet was pretty cool; casual with no pressure."
JW: "What are some of the essential aspects of someone's profile that you look out for and why?"
ML:"Her pictures and what she is about. I want to know if she is goal oriented and focused on meeting those goals. I want to know if she is health driven and/or athletic. I want to know what she feels about family and if she has a good relationship with hers. Also knowing if she has children of her own helps to know what type of woman she is. I want to know about her common interest and what she enjoys to do. All of these things and more are important to me because I have to feel out whether or not she is worth pursuing based on what her profile offers at face value."
JW:"What are some of the challenges that you face during the entire process?"
ML:"Each situation has presented their own problems. The last relationship, the biggest challenge was the distance because I lived in D.C. and she lived in
JW:"How long did your relationships last?"
ML:"One of the relationships lasted for about four months. The most recent relationship lasted for about 18 months; we split up this past March. Surprisingly, the relationship that lasted the shortest period of time was the one that hurt me more emotionally when it was over, more than likely because there was so much more that was invested in that relationship and there was a small child involved that I grew to love and care for. So yeah, it took a lot out of me."
JW:"Do you feel that everyone should give it a try and if so what advice would you give to a 1st timer?"
ML:"If people are tired of trying to meet a good man or woman at a club, bar, or lounge and the folks in church just aren't doing it for you, then the Internet is the next best thing. However, do not pay for these dating sites because they are a waste of time. Social networks and even blogs are a good way to network with some pretty decent women and men. But be yourself and do not try to impress someone with a bunch of lies that you can not back up because there is a good chance that could come back to bite you in the behind down the road if not sooner."
JW:If you've been internet dating for more then 5yrs how has it changed, if at all, over time?
ML:"The technology has become better and makes is easier for us to meet new and interesting people, other than that not much has changed in the past five years, because the people are still the same. "
JW:"Lastly, any funny stories you would like to share about internet dating?"
ML:"I went on a blind date via the Internet one time. As I mentioned, seeing a picture or two is important to me. This one time I decided to go against my rule and when I met her in person and she got out of her car, I felt like 'Smokey' on 'Friday'. LOL! Never again did I make that mistake."
Marcus I'd like to say a Special Thanks for sharing your experience with us!!
What type of impression has Marcus left on how you feel about internet dating??
Was there anything you found to be interesting about the information he provided?
Do you have any more questions you'd like to ask him?