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Sunday, July 13, 2008

Pt 2-A Male's Perspective on Internet Dating

You always have to get two or more sides to any situation or any hot topic out there!! So of course it's only fair to hear a Male’s Perspective so I decided to interview a fellow blogger Marcus Langford on his experience.

Marcus is a 29 year old African American Male residing in Washington DC. He is architectural designer by profession, the founder of Langford Internetprises and author of 'Mind of Marcus'.

Now lets find out what Internet Dating is all about from Marcus' Perspective!

JW: "When did you begin internet dating, how long have you been doing it and why did you become interested in it?"

ML: "I began Internet dating back in 2001. After I split from my ex-wife, I went to the Internet to find my next date and it proved successful. I didn't join any dating sites, I simply joined a social networking site []. Since I don't like to go out and meet women, the Internet was an easy way to meet women of interest."

JW:"How many women have you met in person and how did you feel during your first date ever?"

ML: "I have actually met several women in person from the Internet, but I didn't date all of them; that wasn't necessarily the goal in mind. The majority of them are current friends of mine. Two of them, I dated for some period of time, but eventually we went our separate ways. The first date I had with with a young lady from the Internet was pretty cool; casual with no pressure."

JW: "What are some of the essential aspects of someone's profile that you look out for and why?"

ML:"Her pictures and what she is about. I want to know if she is goal oriented and focused on meeting those goals. I want to know if she is health driven and/or athletic. I want to know what she feels about family and if she has a good relationship with hers. Also knowing if she has children of her own helps to know what type of woman she is. I want to know about her common interest and what she enjoys to do. All of these things and more are important to me because I have to feel out whether or not she is worth pursuing based on what her profile offers at face value."

JW:"What are some of the challenges that you face during the entire process?"

ML:"Each situation has presented their own problems. The last relationship, the biggest challenge was the distance because I lived in D.C. and she lived in Oklahoma City. In general, meeting and dating a woman from the Internet is not going to be much different than finding a woman in a bar and dating her. Women are women and challenges are challenges and things don't change much from the norm."

JW:"How long did your relationships last?"

ML:"One of the relationships lasted for about four months. The most recent relationship lasted for about 18 months; we split up this past March. Surprisingly, the relationship that lasted the shortest period of time was the one that hurt me more emotionally when it was over, more than likely because there was so much more that was invested in that relationship and there was a small child involved that I grew to love and care for. So yeah, it took a lot out of me."

JW:"Do you feel that everyone should give it a try and if so what advice would you give to a 1st timer?"

ML:"If people are tired of trying to meet a good man or woman at a club, bar, or lounge and the folks in church just aren't doing it for you, then the Internet is the next best thing. However, do not pay for these dating sites because they are a waste of time. Social networks and even blogs are a good way to network with some pretty decent women and men. But be yourself and do not try to impress someone with a bunch of lies that you can not back up because there is a good chance that could come back to bite you in the behind down the road if not sooner."

JW:If you've been internet dating for more then 5yrs how has it changed, if at all, over time?

ML:"The technology has become better and makes is easier for us to meet new and interesting people, other than that not much has changed in the past five years, because the people are still the same. "

JW:"Lastly, any funny stories you would like to share about internet dating?"

ML:"I went on a blind date via the Internet one time. As I mentioned, seeing a picture or two is important to me. This one time I decided to go against my rule and when I met her in person and she got out of her car, I felt like 'Smokey' on 'Friday'. LOL! Never again did I make that mistake."

Marcus I'd like to say a Special Thanks for sharing your experience with us!!

What type of impression has Marcus left on how you feel about internet dating??

Was there anything you found to be interesting about the information he provided?

Do you have any more questions you'd like to ask him?


Amina said...

great interview!
It is great to know what a male perspective..
I was laughing at this funny experience.

Overall, I still think it is not for me since I get the feeling that you get "interviewed"about yourself to see if you fit the

but then again, in a relationship, it happens sooner or later.

Anonymous said...

Pretty good interview. It's nice hearing it from a guy's point of view. Internet dating is hard, but it appears that both aspects experience the same anxiety.

A question that I have for Marcus (or any male) is:

Say you are interested in someone. You exchange pics and the conversations are stimulating on both ends. You see things going somewhere. Why would you all of a sudden stop communicating?

Anonymous said...

@amina: i am glad that you enjoyed the interview and most folks do find that horrid dating experience to be entertaining :-]

@jewells: wazzup sis! thanks a lot for your kind words as well.

the question that you raise is a very good one and one that i can not really answer and that is because i would never do something like that.

however, i will say that most men are not consistent with their intentions and sometimes all it takes is some "new booty" to catch their attention and they are riding off into the sunset. a man that is truly feeling you and the connection that you all share is always going to be keep it real with you. he is going to cultivate a strong relationship with you and he is going to give you the utmost respect. that's just my two cents sis!

:::Marcus LANGFORD:::

Anonymous said...

Hi Marcus-

You seem to have some luck with these social networking sites. But which would you suggest are effective and have worked well for you?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your insight, Marcus!

Anonymous said...

@anonymous: i don't think it is so much about luck as it is having sense enough to know what you want and seeking that and getting it.

as far as the social networks go, my two longest relationships were with girls that i met on i'm not on anymore...haven't been on there since summer 2006. i am on myspace and that would be another good place for you to start your search. i heard facebook was a cool site too. i am not using any social sites to find dates anymore, 'cause i am out of that game for the time being :-] but for you, i'd go with myspace first. just remember that no matter what site you pick, beware of the werewolves because you don't want to end up having an experience like

:::Marcus LANGFORD:::

Anonymous said...

This was a very interesting interview! You did a great job answering the questions as well Marcus. You provided substantial informaton and guidance for those that may be interested in possibly seeing what the web has to offer in terms of dating. You also make a good point when you say that those that are interested should be cautious, not only because of the things that people may hide behind their screen names (still laughing at the experience you discussed earlier in the interview, lol), but also for safety reasons. It's always best to take your time! And who knows...sometimes God blesses us with unexpected gifts that can change our lives for the better...Great interview and thanks for sharing :).

Just_Wondering said...

Marcus is doing a wonderful job responding to your questions so please don't hesitate to ask him anything you need to know!! It's not everyday that you get the opportunity to hear what men have to say as they venture online looking at a what females have to offer!!

Just_Wondering said...

@ Amina, Jewells, Kei
Thanks for reading the interview and weighing in with your comments and questions I feel like Marcus is making the idea less scary and giving people options! :)

Product Junkie Diva said...

LOL he felt like smokey...LOL
great interview.

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