Choices and Consequences

Elle had locked herself in the bathroom even though she was all alone in her apartment.. She looked in the mirror and began sobbing uncontrollably. Her mind was reeling and she couldn’t think straight. She lowered herself and sat on the lid of the toilet bowl and stared at the wrappers and the plastic indicators that had all confirmed something she feared would not happen at this stage in her life. She was pregnant……Elle took a total of six home pregnancy tests because as she took the 1^st one to the 5^th one, she was convinced that they were all wrong. How could she have been so stupid, how could she have thought that this couldn’t happen to her. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the bathroom, because if she did…it would mean that the truth would be released into the world. Once she crossed that threshold, she would officially have to be held accountable for her actions and deal with the consequences.

Elle took a piece of toilet paper and wiped her tears away. She slowly collected all the remnants of the pregnancy tests and threw them in the trash. It was time to face reality…she reached for the doorknob…as she turned it…. her heart sank because she had no idea what her life would be like in the next couple of months.

Elle felt alone and scared. She sat on her bed and thought about the past couple of months. You see…Elle had loved her life up until this point. She was in her last year in college, she had tons of friends, and was looking forward to the future. She knew she didn’t really want to be in any serious relationships so she dated whoever caught her eye. Her mind rewinded to a series of images in which she tried to remember when she could have conceived the child she was carrying.

Was it Gerald or Daniel? She had kept both relationships with these men within the last 3-6 months, yet she couldn’t bring herself to break ties with either one. The tears began streaming down her eyes again and she thought “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!” This is not what she wanted right now. Why wasn’t she smart enough to have asked them to wear a condom? In the heat of the moment it all just felt so right and so good.

Her plans for the future are forever altered…She had always imagined she’d have children when she married the love of her life. Never did she think that she may be a single mom.

Elle picked up the phone and dialed Gerald’s number……

“Hello, Gerald….We need to talk….Can you come over to my place?”

After speaking to Gerald, who was on his way over, she picked up the phone yet again but this time to dialed Daniel’s number. She’d have to tell Daniel over the phone because he had gone back to North Carolina to finish off his last semester of college.

“Hello Daniel….I’m pregnant…..”

Words From Just Wondering

Over the years I’ve witnessed a few situations in which women have found their lives forever changed because they made the wrong choices about protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unexpected pregnancy.

Have you ever been in this senerio?

In your experience what were some of the reasons why some women in your life who were in this situation didn’t protect themselves?

If you were Elle’s close friend what would you tell her about her situation?

How to Navigate Through Changes

Life is hard….Ok wait lemme say that again if you missed it the first time because that statement is so true Life Is Hard! I remember being a little kid and asking my mom to buy me a candy bar and she told me that she didn’t have the money (she did though LOL) and I made a promise… I said “When I grow up, I’m going to buy a snikers bar everyday lol I thought “Hey when I get older I’ll have dollar bills that would flow out of my pockets so I could buy whatever I wanted.” Well I was in for a surprise when I finally grew up and I learned about bills, budgeting, and spending. That’s just the tip of the iceberg because on top of that you have to start building your career, dating, forging relationships with people, or distancing yourselves from people you don’t like anymore. You start to notice things about yourself and you make Changes! Life is about Change! The person you were in the past, is not who you are today? You’ve grown, and have been through many challenges. Maybe you’re happy with your current life or just down right mad and bitter. Whatever the case may be, we all go through different types of changes that we have to deal with.

So picture this….You’re married, in a serious relationship or you’ve created a great bond with a friend. For the past few months, weeks, or maybe days you notice something different about the person. Sometimes it’s subtle changes like your phone call hasn’t been returned, you noticed that your conversations just don’t flow quite as easily, maybe the person stop doing something that they use to love, or they’re working way to hard and not leaving room for hanging out. We expect change when something huge happens like having a baby/relocating but what about the little changes that may cause your relationship to go in another direction….it hasn’t gotten bad YET but your Intuition is telling you something is not right…..and your thoughts start to flow like this à “She seems preoccupied at dinner I wonder if something happened earlier today..” “Wow, he passed on an opportunity to hang out tonight with his friends….” “I know he cares about me, but that kiss he just gave me was off…” “My best friend told her co-worker that her mom was sick and I didn’t find out until a week later”

What do you do when life changes start to penetrate you’re relationships?

Do you ask questions and investigate immediately? Or do you wait to gather more information? Maybe you just don’t know how to address the situation or the person who’s changing doesn’t realize it’s affecting the relationship.

What’s your 1^st course of action in order to navigate through changes?