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Sunday, September 7, 2008

Choices and Consequences

Elle had locked herself in the bathroom even though she was all alone in her apartment.. She looked in the mirror and began sobbing uncontrollably. Her mind was reeling and she couldn’t think straight. She lowered herself and sat on the lid of the toilet bowl and stared at the wrappers and the plastic indicators that had all confirmed something she feared would not happen at this stage in her life. She was pregnant……Elle took a total of six home pregnancy tests because as she took the 1st one to the 5th one, she was convinced that they were all wrong. How could she have been so stupid, how could she have thought that this couldn’t happen to her. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the bathroom, because if she did…it would mean that the truth would be released into the world. Once she crossed that threshold, she would officially have to be held accountable for her actions and deal with the consequences.

Elle took a piece of toilet paper and wiped her tears away. She slowly collected all the remnants of the pregnancy tests and threw them in the trash. It was time to face reality…she reached for the doorknob…as she turned it…. her heart sank because she had no idea what her life would be like in the next couple of months.

Elle felt alone and scared. She sat on her bed and thought about the past couple of months. You see…Elle had loved her life up until this point. She was in her last year in college, she had tons of friends, and was looking forward to the future. She knew she didn’t really want to be in any serious relationships so she dated whoever caught her eye. Her mind rewinded to a series of images in which she tried to remember when she could have conceived the child she was carrying.

Was it Gerald or Daniel? She had kept both relationships with these men within the last 3-6 months, yet she couldn’t bring herself to break ties with either one. The tears began streaming down her eyes again and she thought “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!” This is not what she wanted right now. Why wasn’t she smart enough to have asked them to wear a condom? In the heat of the moment it all just felt so right and so good.

Her plans for the future are forever altered…She had always imagined she’d have children when she married the love of her life. Never did she think that she may be a single mom.

Elle picked up the phone and dialed Gerald’s number……

“Hello, Gerald….We need to talk….Can you come over to my place?”

After speaking to Gerald, who was on his way over, she picked up the phone yet again but this time to dialed Daniel’s number. She’d have to tell Daniel over the phone because he had gone back to North Carolina to finish off his last semester of college.

“Hello Daniel….I’m pregnant…..”

Words From Just Wondering

Over the years I’ve witnessed a few situations in which women have found their lives forever changed because they made the wrong choices about protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unexpected pregnancy.

Have you ever been in this senerio?

In your experience what were some of the reasons why some women in your life who were in this situation didn’t protect themselves?

If you were Elle’s close friend what would you tell her about her situation?


Amina said...

great topic as usual!!
it happened to 2 of my friends. They told me that they used protections and well...the condom broke!
the first one was in our last of high school and the other just after graduating from college...

i used to be judgmental because for me if you decide to be active(let's not kid ourselves about abstinence until we get, you have to be responsible....but the more it happened to my friends especially those who are serious..i stopped judging because it can also happen to me and i have serious rules!!

so...all i say is that i'll be here for you no matter what the decision you take and i found out with time that this attitude strengthens the friendship. After all, who am i to judge?It can happen to anyone.

by the way, you write beautifully!

Therapeutic Musings said...

I've never been in this situtation but my mom and I talk often about it because a lot of my friends have been. I don't really say anything because what's done is done. I do try to make sure they learned from their mistake so it doesn't happen again. Some learned, some didn't.

Anonymous said...

this is only a topic that another woman could really offer advice on. however, as a man that, i would tell her to keep her head up and make sound decisions. as crazy as it is to say it, the truth remains that because of your present decision, you have to now concern yourself with your future and that's all that matters at that point.

[Mind of Marcus©]

Calming Corners said...

Great topic! Can I just remind you that you are an awesome writer!! Please don't ever stop!!!

Anonymous said...

I have been in a similar situation.

While in the Air Force, I dated around. I ended up not using protection because 1) the guy I was with wanted us to have a baby, and 2) the other guy was in the military and I felt he was "safe."

To this day, I don't know if I was pregnant. I took a test that had a faint positive sign. A week or two later, I had the worst cycle ever and passed a lot of clots. So, I won't claim a miscarriage since I didn't know if I was or not.

I did call both guys to inform them of what was going on. Their response is another topic.

This was 10 years ago and I have learned a lot since then. The reasons I did it was because I was being fed a pipe dream by one guy. The other was the product of too much liquor. I had low self-esteem and I wasn't as concerned about diseases as I should have been. It was a case of temporary insanity and trying to prove something to myself.

In the long run I have learned that my health is a number one priority. I also do not want to raise a child on my own. Those mistakes could have cost my life.

For someone in Elle's position... I would simply say to keep on striving. A child won't stop her from being who she is destined to be. God has a plan for her life and this child is a part of that plan. It may not be easy, but nothing worth having is easy.

young lady said...

well...i can not say i've been in this situation but what i can say is that i have a friend who is still in high school...i believe it's her last year of high school...she lived in brooklyn and moved upstate for a better life but then "new things" "new people", so she was havin fun and then end up finding out what she didn't want to to make a long story her 10th going to 11th year of high school she had a wonderful son....but people who she taught was her friends judged her an taught just because she had a child she wouldnt get back on her feet..and when she did come back to school everyboy was shocked she came bac an did what she had to im proud of her really...

But a lil massage to everybody female and male...Have your fun but do it within Gods will....because you know if you do something with out God he wouldn't like have your fun and do you and ofcourse be safe check ya'll slaves!!!

-young lady