Have you ever been in a situation where you have to tell your friend/family member/girlfriend/boyfriend something about their personality that isn’t the nicest?
It’s a very hard task to say to someone…
“You’re so negative..”
“You have so much going for yourself but you’re ungrateful for the things you have.”
“You can’t be independent…you always seem to need my help even if the task is simple.”
“You never say thank you”
“You complain too much….way too much”
“You don’t make an effort to spend time with me”
“I feel like everyone else in your life is important and I’m at the bottom of your list” “You’re never encouraging”
“You’re impatient”
“You always have to be right..”
“You never listen to me….”
“You’re judgmental”
“You’re selfish”
“You’re not making an effort to make things work”
“You’re self centered”
“You’re not sensitive to my situation”
I’ve told someone some of these things and it didn’t turn out very well. I had so many concerns that I didn’t share that it was dumped on the person all at the same time. I was essentially asking for a complete personality change, which wouldn’t be fair to either of us. So it ended there. I walked away leaving the lasting impression being all the things that I didn’t like and I wonder if those things were ever addressed after so many years.
Sometimes these personality traits are unbearable and you feel like after some time it’s something that has to be said. Once the cat is out of the bag…you find yourself with someone who gets so angry they never make any changes at all…. Or they make changes to make you feel better or for themselves to feel better but essentially the change is short lived. Lastly, there’s the person that is willing to change for the better for themselves and the future of their relationships.
So tell me have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to tell someone something about their personality? How did you do it? How did it end up?
Has anyone told you about something about your personality? How did you feel when it happened? Did you eventually make any changes?
8 comments:
This may sound crazy but I wish people would tell me when I say the wrong thing or offend them. I often realize I've said something wrong afterwards. I think I'm pretty conscientious so things often resurface in my mind later and I think "Dang, I shouldn't have said that. Why didn't s/he say something." Maybe I'm overly sensitive to other's needs/feelings. I wonder what my friend's would say...?
Yooooooooooooooooo i was in the building!! I only will say somehting when i feel it is absolutly necessary.
Ever if we have never told a friend/ family mmeber what we think of their personality, we have all thought it at one time or another. I mean who isn't annoying? Everyone has something that will irk another individual. It depends on what the problem is and that will determine if a discussion should happen. SOmetimes when I get really annoyed I will take a breather from the person, this not only helps me to calm down but it gives me a moment to reflect on the things that I do like about the person. If during my period of reflection the bad out weighs the good then I can just keep it moving..lol
pjd
P.S. I'm in the building just like C :-)
Before I was saved people would consider me to be serious and a little cold. Now that I'm "trying" to live life according to God's will, I smile more and I feel more compassion for others who may seem "different" from me. Everyone has a story that we know nothing about. Now I listen whole heartedly and not just rush them off. I'm with curvygurl, I want people to be honest with me, now that I'm all grown up, I can take it.
I won't even lie, I get in my feelings when my mom tries to tell me about myself. With my sister I can take it becuase I call her out all the time too. After the initial offense passes I try to think about what they said and see if I need to fix anything. Most of the time I do.
Before I turned 30, I used to just let people say things that bothered me, but I never would say anything. As of late, if I don't agree with what's being said or done, especially when it concerns me, I speak up about it.
I make observations to my parents about how they could respond differently in certain situations. By their response, I can tell that it may come across as condescending, so I am learning to approach it differently.
I guess when it all boils down, we can all be a little sensitive or become offended when folks show us the mirror, so it's best to use the same discretion when holding up that same mirror to them.
I am very blunt and honest because I want people to be their best. I grew up in a family where people didn't communicate or held back due to feeling being hurt etc. I think this is worse. It is best to be honest so the person can grow and at the end of the day they respect you more!
well I am insecure about my relationships....and I just dont trust men
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