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The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus - VideoBook

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

What's Your Status- Can Facebook Ruin Your Relationship?

Over the past few years Facebook has become a huge hit. I mean who knew that one site could connect you with so many different people from my past and present. I’ll be honest and say that I held out from joining for a very long time, but I made the plunge a few months ago and felt amazed at just how many people you can befriend and how you can find out what people are doing. It can be addicting to say the least. I am a very private person so I’ve been able to keep my friends list within the 30-40 range. Lol However, I’m starting to realize how Facebook can really affect dating/relationships. It can really lead couples onto the path of breaking up really quickly.

A couple of issues the website is that Facebook allows everyone on your friends list to know what you are doing from the friends you have befriended, the pictures you post, to the events you plan to go to. Men and Women who are in a relationship can easily catch you in a lie! If you said you were doing one thing one night, Facebook does a good job of documenting your every move.

A dear friend of mine reconnected with a guy from her past and they chatted on the phone which led him to ask her out on a date. He cancelled the date because he said he was sick. Two days later my friend logs onto Facebook only to find that he updated his profile to say he was in a relationship!! How upsetting was that!!!

What if you start dating a guy and you two get to the boyfriend girlfriend stage in your relationship and you change your status to say that you are but the person you are dating keeps theirs listed as single. What do you do? What if you are in a committed relationship and you notice that your girl/guy has all kinds of flirty messages from others on their wall. What if an old girlfriend/boyfriend posted some really interesting pictures revealing things that you did in the past that you don’t do anymore? How do you avoid some of these pitfalls?

Well here are some tips that I have come up with that may ease some of the drama that Facebook can cause in your relationship.

1- Talk It Over- If you are in a serious relationship and both of you have Facebook, take the time to talk about how you would want that person to conduct themselves on the site in terms of boundaries. Come up with middle ground that both of you will be comfortable with. It sounds crazy but it can save you from future arguments.

2- What’s Your Relationship Status?- It is important to decide what your relationship status will be on Facebook. Do you want both of you to say you are in a relationship with each other, do you just want to keep it neutral by just stating “relationship” without saying with whom, or do you want to leave that part out of both profiles and to leave if up to each of you to inform everyone that I have a man/girl. You do all these things so that you don’t end up hurting that person’s feelings consciously or unconsciously.

3- “Friends” from the Past- Discuss what you would want the person to do when someone from the past contacts you that you know you had a relationship with or had an interest in you. How about if that person asks to reunite over lunch/dinner? How would you want your girlfriend/boyfriend to deal with it? Be open and talk about these things. Communication is the key. Otherwise your boyfriend/girlfriend may assume you’ll be okay with their decision to befriend someone.

4- Level of Privacy- Talk about how much of your business you would want reported on the site (e.g. Me and my boyfriend are going out to eat at Negrils Restaurant tonight) I mean how open are the both of you about telling others your plans from dates to future. You never know old flames may be waiting for you at the bar/restaurant hoping to “cross paths” with either of you. Lol You also want to discuss whether or not you want to post pictures of you two together?

5- Honesty- Honesty plays a big role in any relationship. However, you should try to be very clear and upfront about the time you spend away from your mate. Facebook can send you to break up land in two seconds if your boyfriend/girlfriend finds out you lied about being somewhere when you really were not.

6- Comments- The comments you make on others pages can get you into serious trouble. So watch please watch what you say.

I personally think that Facebook is good and bad. Good in a sense that you can keep in touch with friends but bad in a sense that it can get you into lots of trouble while you are in a serious relationship or at least headed in that direction. If you notice how Facebook is taking a negative toll on your budding or well established relationship, talk to your mate and see if you can solve the issue before it gets much worst. It’s worth it to have an open discussion about it. Do not let Facebook ruin what you have going in your love life.

Have you experienced any issues in your relationship because of Facebook?

Please Share by making a comment! Thanks for Reading!

1 comment:

mr. nichols said...

I really appreciate this post. I've seen Facebooks destroy relationships so it's definitely useful and more people need to apply these steps to their lives.