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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Interracial Dating...How White Men Feel About Dating Black Women

Hey Everyone,

I recently enjoyed a nice vacation in Miami, Fl with my sisters and we had the chance to discuss an array of topics. One of those topics happen to be interracial dating. We asked each other how open are we about dating Caucasian men. We all agreed that we would prefer an African American male but are these Caucasian men looking to date a Black women. Finding a good Black man these days seems to be harder and harder. African American women are waiting for their Chocolate Skinned Prince Charming lol So maybe Black women need to take a look outside of the box and see what White men think about dating African American woman. Since I love to ask questions, I did a little survey and here are some of the responses I received. I will post more as the responses roll in. But before you read them...Tell me your thoughts about dating Caucasian men if you are an African American Woman. If you are a Caucasian male, please leave a comment also. Anyone is welcome to tell me what is on their mind.

My questions are as follows as my own personal survey:

1- Age, Location

2- When you're out and about, do you take notice of African American women that you find attractive?

3- Would you ever consider consider dating an African American woman? Why? Why Not? What are your reservations about doing it?

4- When do you come across with African American women what is your impression of them as someone of the opposite sex?

5-Do you ever think that African American woman are checking you out?

6- If you have dated an African American woman tell me what that experience was like?

Response #1

LOL well you went and asked the right person these questions …YES I'M Caucasian....
I happen to be partners in a women's swimwear line with an African American female designer so I know a great deal about Black women and only date black women. So I'll try to do your questions by number.

1. I'm 46 and live in Howard Beach Queens

2. Yes I can't keep my eyes off African American women they are absolutely beautiful My ideal woman is about 5'6 125/135 lbs long black hair with a great smile.

3. I recently got out of a relationship with a beautiful young 28 year old lady from Jamaica she was a nursing student here and upon graduating she wanted to return to Boston to be a nurse at a hospital there where her mom was a head nurse so with great difficulty we split up..Of course its more complicated but I’m not going to bore you with all the details ...

4.My impression of them is that they are very down to earth and honest you usually know where you stand I personally love sassy women..

5.Yes at times in certain places i notice some black women check me out especially at the fashion shows we attend..

6. In my lifetime I've dated 5 African American women and I can not say a bad word about any of them they were all unique and fantastic...

Response #2

Well I found your post very interesting, and I would love to hear the responses you get. Either way, here are mine:
1- Age, Location
35 - Huntington, NY

2- When you're out and about, do you take notice of African American women that you find attractive?
Absolutely. Things I notice most, regardless of skin color, are eyes, hair, and smile (if I am lucky enough to get one )

3- Would you ever consider dating an African American woman? Why? Why Not? What are your reservations about doing it?

Yes. The things that are most important, are chemistry and personality. What makes a woman attractive is how she carries herself, and what keeps me anyway is intelligence and humor.

4- When do you come across with African American woman what is your impression of them as someone of the opposite sex?
The same as any other member of the opposite sex. If they are pretty, I look for a smile and see if they make
eye contact
5-Do you ever think that African American woman are checking you out?

6- If you have dated an African American woman tell me what that experience was like?
I have not, my aunt (adopted) and my cousin are african american though. Growing up I always thought they were the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I never really thought anything about it. I guess I grew somewhat sheltered. My cousin is brilliant, and an accomplished ballerina. They both have a grace about them that I have always admired.

Response #3

I'm a 50-year old man on the upper west side of Manhattan. When I'm out, I do indeed notice African American women. In fact, I personally find them extremely attractive and sexy, perhaps more so than Caucasian women. I have no compunctions about dating African American women -- and, in fact, have done so in the past: I have had two black girlfriends, both of whom were wonderful and exciting women; we had lots of common interests I'm not certain that black women are checking me out more than white women would, but I’m sure they have --especially when I am checking them out..

I just wanted to post these three responses for now as I hope to receive a few more that have more lenghty responses. Don't worry ladies and gents I will certianly get some responses from younger age ranges lol It's interesting to hear what the older crowd thinks because interracial dating wasn't as "acceptable." Overall all, every male who responded to the survey are definately interested in dating African American women. However, I'm sure there are a few who think otherwise...I'll be sure to report what I find ok.

Please share your experiences and thoughts on interracial dating!! Have you done it? What led you to date someone from that racial group? Would you consider doing it? Why? Or Why Not?

Thanks for Reading!



Product Junkie Diva said...

OK first of all I cheated and read the whole post and comments before writing my I had so many thoughts while reading their comments.
Anyway I think you are attracted to the person you are attracted to whether he is black, asian, white etc. I know I didn't use the politically correct terms but you know what I'm saying
I can't wait to see the other responses that roll in.

Product Junkie Diva said...

I forgot to tell you that your new blog design is cute.

Jasmine said...

Well I'm currently dating a caucasian/white man. He's a british white man and when people find out im with him. The typical response is.."i always knew you liked white men" or "mm so you dont date black men then". No, the majority of my boyfriends have been black. It just so happens that this guy turned out to be more perfect for me in every unimaginable way and he just happens to feel the same way. I think people can be attracted to one skin tone over the other, but i dont think it's so much their race that matters.

I love a dark brown skin tone because i happen to think its beautiful. That doesnt mean i dont think my boyfriend's skin isn't beautiful though. Honestly, at the end of the day when you really look at it..its his personality that im in love with and attracted to, and that personality could've come in any color and i still would have loved him.

Just_Wondering said...

@Jasmine- Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. Its interesting to see what people have to say that are actually living the topic that is being presented.

I think that race is always something that people will look at on a superficial level and it may in fact allow people to never really look beyond that when they are looking for love. But essentially what will always win someone over is loving a person for who they are. Their personality can certainly count for so much more then the color of their skin. Thanks for your input on that.

Michael said...

well first off it am a white man and i love black women. i have dated 3 african american women and im 16 yeras old from indianapolis experience has been great they women i ahve been with have been fun outgoing and bad lol. idk in my opinion i think that black women look better then most white women. (not all) but what attracts me is usually smell the way a girl dresses and how she carries her self, her hair,and her nose but i like micros lol i just think there cute. but most of all i like black women!

Dating said...

Personality can certainly count for so much more then the color of their skin.

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matthew10227 said...

I thought I'd contribute, as a caucasian male.
1) 23/Temecula, CA
2) I remember in high school, I was a really shy kid, but I had three major crushes: one white, one filipino, and one black. I'll point out that my hometown is almost 75% white. It wasn't deliberate or anything, and although they were all very pretty, personality was the main factor.
3) The black girl was the only one I actually ended up dating. We broke up and went our separate ways after graduation, but we're still good friends. I'm currently going out with a white woman, and I hope it lasts, but I don't find black women any less desirable than white women.
4) I'd say I'm about as likely to find a passing black woman attractive as a woman of any other race. I have someone already, and I don't plan on that changing any time soon, but I'm loyal enough to acknowledge women as attractive without feeling guilty. Race has nothing to do with it.
5) As a junior in high school, one time I suddenly felt fingers running over my scalp. I turned around to see a black girl smiling at me. She just blushed and said "I like your hair", and walked away. That's the most drastic example. I'm not the best judge of how attractive I am, but I'm pretty sure I've seen some black women giving me the look.
6) Back to my experience with the black girl: it was great. She was understanding and really sweet, and we could listen to each other on an intimate level. I can see that some of the people here are much older than me, so I'll add that I am a virgin, and so was she (I'm 99.9% sure she still is), so I can't talk about that particular aspect of a relationship, but I will say that she is a very beautiful and wonderful woman. I don't regret the breakup, which was mutual; we could have been, but I'm with someone else, and (call me a hopeless romantic) there is no one better than the woman in my arms. Still, she is a very good friend, and I hope the guy who finds her, whatever color he may be, is smart enough to realize just how lucky he is.

Cole said...

I am a white male high school student in Madison, WI. My preference is to date black girls because of mosty their strong and real personalities, unlike many white girls, as well as their beautiful appearances. I currently have a black girlfriend, and i get a lot of shit about it from everybody except other black girls, who actually seem to like it and seem to notice me more. You shouldnt be afraid to date black girls, even if they sometimes seem a little crazy sometimes :). They can love you just as good if not better than a white girlfriend. But always remember, the most important thing is that you are with who you love.

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Anonymous said...

Thank u for being this too the light I live in KCMO UGG! Men here are so very divided the have and the have nots especially mentally! I l know so many AA WOMEN who are single and can't even get a date, let a lone a husband! Sure we are open to dating outside of our race the problem with that is..White men, Asian men as well as Hispanic men prefer all prefer interacting with their own or intermingling within these groups and the sad thing is that the AA MALE prefers them too!!! Yes, we have a bad rapport by ignorance. However, all are not as perceive. The real point is yes we are sexy yes we do have class and yes we can be opinionated but who isn't?! We are caring respectful and fun. The question that I have is will the other race not just date me, sex me but take me home to his family you know his mother!

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Noel said...

Thank you much for starting this discussion. I was searching for pictures of black women with white men because it's always nice to see some support out there, and I ran into this site/blog. (P.s. I'm a 21-year-old Nigerian/Filipino girl :) )

And because I'm so tickled (and enjoy reading others' responses), I thought I might contribute my own two cents for the sake of continuing to add to your survey answers and contributing to other readers' experiences as they read through responses.

Okey dokey... With a few tweaks to your questions, I think I can answer most...

1. See above :), Seattle

2. From an African American woman's perspective-- I ALWAYS notice Caucasian men. In fact, I have found that I tend to be attracted to Caucasian men.

3. I have had two boyfriends: both Caucasian. Both were blond, and both were extremely sweet guys. Beyond those two, I've dated two Italians and attempted a relationship with a red-haired lad. My reservations about dating Caucasian men? None. Their reservations about dating me? Apparently none too... :) Still, I do find myself wondering sometimes if the guys I'm interested in who are Caucasian aren't or won't be interested in me because of my skin color. Are there reservations that I am unaware of? Perhaps.

4. I don't know if I can tweak this question enough to make sense from an African American woman's perspective. I guess I don't know what Caucasian men's perspectives are on African American women. I assume that, based on media and stereotypes, many Caucasian men may see African American women as strong-willed and/or difficult :(

5. Ha ha! I certainly hope that Caucasian men notice when I'm checking them out! I'm so shy sometimes that two looks paired with a tilt of the head and a mischievous smile are all I can muster up the courage to give.

6. Like I said before, my experiences with dating white men have been superb (obviously not perfect since I'm not with them still). They were such sweet guys, very, very attentive, very loving, all that jazz. What was their experience dating me? Hmm... If I still talked to them, I would ask them, but I'm afraid I don't, so I don't know.

Again, thank you for starting this conversation. I've recently begun to feel curious about what other people think about interracial dating-- specifically between African American women and Caucasian men because I don't see if very often and wonder if my preferences are unrealistic. Still, I suppose my dating history is a testimony against that. But have I just been lucky? And is this temporary lull in my dating career due to a shallow pool of Caucasian men who are interested in African American women? These are the questions that blogs like yours can help me wrestle with. Thank you much!

Noel said...

Oh bugger. I hate errors. I meant "I don't see IT very often" not "if". Apologies.

Anonymous said...

I'm a black teenage girl whose 15, however, I don't have any black friends. Because most of them at my school act/are ghetto, which is something I prefer not to do (not that there's anything wrong with it), so I hang with only Caucasions. I have liked 2 black guys in my life time, ur right, Prince Charming's are hard to find. I've been attracted to 4 white guys and would most likely date one if I had the chance. However, if i found a black guy who was caring and the making of a "prince" lol, then honestly, I would be most excited to date him rather than a white guy with the same personality.

Anonymous said...

I am a 44yo White male who went to get a hair cut, and this lady knocked my socks off just something about her I needed, dont get me wrong i have date more AA women than white women ( my preference) this lady is pure African I sent flowers every thursday to her hair salon until finally she called, i love her smile and her laughter, it so much mire genuine that those " artificial white girls from my younger days, I live in a very diversified community outside Washington DC, so no relationship conflicts,

Anonymous said...

Hi I'm Shaun. This is a great blog. Thank you. I am 35 year old white male from New Jersey. The only relationships I've been in have been with white girls. Physically speaking, I find my preferences roll like this. I often find myself attracted to black and biracial women with a greater sexual energy while white women envoke a more emotional energy. However, any woman can evoke either energy and it can intensify as I get to know them.

With all relationships physical attraction is necessary but personality is the most important part of any relationship for both the guy and girl. Even if it's just for a one night stand you still have to at least be able to carry on a conversation first. lol Just for the record, for me being turned on isn't all about race, age, ethnicity, who has the best T&A, who is the prettiest or any of that. It's about me being drawn to that person for a myriad of reasons and there is a lot that goes into it. I never know who I may meet and how they might turn me on.

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

Im Dutch (European) i cant happen to notice that interracial relations are a "big" topic in US.
Is this cause one stays to sheltered in own surroundings?

Here in Holland we have no other choice, take my self for example, i grew up only dating white men.
But for ones looking for the smart strong black "brotha" here...TAKEN!
Or by smart black or white women or other races.

Then the other side of the story, our blood is so mixed, there is no pure race in it back to interacial relations...


LovingHarder said...

I know Im a tad late but I love this post and would like to contribute.
I am a black female and I love my black men. However, I have dated 2 white men. The first, we broke up but it was mutal. The 2nd, still working on the relationship. I must say that it is beautiful! They love me, my skin, my hair, my body and my mind. Not that my black exes didnt, no they loved on me too. My black men: when they love you, they love you...but when they hurt you: they kill. But something white men seem to understand that black men do not, is that although I am a strong woman, I am still Fragile. Idk, this is from my own experience. Honestly, I would LOVE to meet a black man who treats me I like the african Queen that I am! Until then, when I marry, hope it will be a white man that chooses me.

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Anonymous said...

I am a white man who had exclusively dated black women for over 12 years. I have dated mostly black women from America but a few from Africa, by the way the stereotype that black women from Africa are better than bw from USA is total crap. The crap between both places is the same. I am sorry to say this but my experience had been horribly negative. 12 years worth of horror stories. I personally find black ladies the most attractive of all races, and I check them out all the time,but I know they are not checking me out. Black woman as a whole aren't truly serious about a white man. I even got married to a black woman. I won't go on about my personal experiences with bw, but I have been used, treated very badly. Most were embarrassed to be with a white guy and for some reason I would get this irrational hatred or dislike towards me when the relationship was going good. I don't know I got out of my last black relationship 2 weeks ago and I won't date a black Lady again.

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Anonymous said...

60 year old white male, I have preferred black identified girls/women since I was 13. I notice black identified women exclusively in a crowd or in public. I use the term "black identified" because some African, Caribbean women do not like being labeled African American. There is a difference. I am in a 10 year relationship with a Jamaican woman raised in her youth, in England. The more time we spent with each other the better we got to know each other. The color difference between us disappeared but it was something to flaunt and be proud of when we went out. She is stunning at 5'9" and built like Serrena Williams. I am 6'0" average build (no beer belly). She's been complimented on looking like a tall Halle Berry and I have been mistaken for Walter White. When we are out, it's a performance. We love the stares, looks, gasps. And we get those looks of contempt. It doesn't bother us in the least because we know who we are and what we have. We don't exist to make other people happy. I exist to make my would be mother-in-law happy, by giving her daughter a good man.