Measure of A Man Part 1

A friend of mine went the gym the other day and she happened to have a conversation with a fellow gym goer about men, women, and dating. It struck me as very interesting conversation so I decided to post a question to you all.

So the topic of discussion was how women have failed in keeping our standards high causing us to settle for less when it comes to men that we choose to be in a relationship with.

His Stats: Mr. Gym goer was described as an African American in his late 30s early 40s, married with two children 2year old and 7years old. He stated that he was at the gym trying to keep himself together and physically fit even though his time is very limited.

Her Stats: African American in her late 20s, single and goes to the gym to stay fit and be healthy.

His Statement:

“If all women were to increase their standards in terms of what they wanted in a mate then men would have no choice but to reach those standards.” The key word in his statement is ALL women not some…but ALL!

Her Statement:

“But not every woman has the same standards. If my standards are set 20 feet above average I may be all by myself. Some men may not want to meet my standards because they are set to high”

His Statement:

“But that’s why women shouldn’t settle for a Joe Shmo from around the way. If the guy is not ambitious, aspiring to do more with his life or trying to meet goals then that man won’t do anything within a relationship. Especially if you’re saying you’re comfortable settling for less. Women have to make men work harder! If all women do it then they wouldn’t have a choice.”

Her Statement:

“I understand what you are trying to say but many of the men women encounter today don’t even know where to begin in order to meet the minimal standards. So women find themselves setting low expectations, hoping that it will produce higher results. The sad part about having low expectations is that you end up settling for less when you should be getting so much more. I feel that there are so much more Joe Shomos out there doing less then those who are above average in meeting my standards.

So I ask you all out there what do you think?

Do you think that Women are setting low standards and if so do you think that men will rise to higher expectations if the standards were to increase?

Are woman asking for too much?

Men please Speak up! lol

Hit me up with a comment! I want to hear when you have to say on this topic.

Picture Perfect

Have you ever thought about how you would meet the love of your life...I mean I know many don't sit and ponder on these things but if you could have created the instance in which you crossed paths with the person you would be spending the rest of your life with, when, where, and under what circumstances would it be? Crossing the street, at the local supermarket, shopping for a gift at the mall, at your favorite restaurant.....The possibilities are endless....

Here’s my little scene:

After finishing an entire roll of film in my camera I happen to go to the photo shop I often frequent for many years to develop my prints. I also was very excited to pick up the prints I had dropped off last week. I love this little shop because they do an impeccable job and the owner knows exactly what I want. As I walk into the shop, I realized the sweet elderly owner Mr. Jacobs wasn’t behind the counter. I ring the bell resting by my hand and said,

“Hello…is anyone back there!” A voice responded saying,

“Oh sorry!! I’ll be right out, I’m just in the middle of something. If you call out your name I’d be glad to find your prints on my way back out there!”

So I did as the voice requested and began to look at the enlarged prints on the walls of the shop that all seemed to speak to me. Mr. Jacobs work was amazing and I always wondered how I could capture the same shots…I continued to look not knowing that Mr.Voice had come over to the counter and said…

“Oh, that print in the corner, I love that one the most. The woman in the picture seemed so at ease and her sense of joy appears to jump out at you.”

I replied, “Well you’re right about that, but don’t you think the shot needs a little more lighting.”

Mr. Voice replied, “Absolutely not…I think the entire shot is flawless with just the right amount of lighting, which accentuates the woman’s natural beauty. I’ve always thought My Grandfather did an amazing job on that picture”

My mind wondered a million thoughts as I stood there a few seconds longer looking at the picture. I was very taken by the comments he had made…..It was at that point that I broke my trance. I turned around to meet Mr. Voice’s gaze who had just revealed himself as Mr. Jacob’s grandson.

There behind that counter stood a 6’0 foot tall, milk chocolate man, with a medium build. As I put a face to the voice… I uttered the words,

“Actually, Mr. Jacobs didn’t take that shot…I did….”

That my friends is the very beginning to what I could imagine to have met the love of my life. The story includes my passion for a lost hobby of mine, a common thirst for capturing a moment in time, and my interest peaked by words before anything else.

Alas although it is a fantasy….I know that the real life event will be remembered as something flawless because it was orchestrated by God.

So tell me…If you could…When..Where..and under what circumstances would you want to meet the love of your life. Please do share no matter how ridiculous you may think it sounds lol

Thanks for reading!

Who is looking back at you in the Mirror?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to tell your friend/family member/girlfriend/boyfriend something about their personality that isn’t the nicest?

It’s a very hard task to say to someone…

“You’re so negative..”

“You have so much going for yourself but you’re ungrateful for the things you have.”

“You can’t be independent…you always seem to need my help even if the task is simple.”

“You never say thank you”

“You complain too much….way too much”

“You don’t make an effort to spend time with me”

“I feel like everyone else in your life is important and I’m at the bottom of your list” “You’re never encouraging”

“You’re impatient”

“You always have to be right..”

“You never listen to me….”

“You’re judgmental”

“You’re selfish”

“You’re not making an effort to make things work”

“You’re self centered”

“You’re not sensitive to my situation”

I’ve told someone some of these things and it didn’t turn out very well. I had so many concerns that I didn’t share that it was dumped on the person all at the same time. I was essentially asking for a complete personality change, which wouldn’t be fair to either of us. So it ended there. I walked away leaving the lasting impression being all the things that I didn’t like and I wonder if those things were ever addressed after so many years.

Sometimes these personality traits are unbearable and you feel like after some time it’s something that has to be said. Once the cat is out of the bag…you find yourself with someone who gets so angry they never make any changes at all…. Or they make changes to make you feel better or for themselves to feel better but essentially the change is short lived. Lastly, there’s the person that is willing to change for the better for themselves and the future of their relationships.

So tell me have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to tell someone something about their personality? How did you do it? How did it end up?

Has anyone told you about something about your personality? How did you feel when it happened? Did you eventually make any changes?

What If.........

"There's a cute guy who happens to get on the elevator on the 6th floor when I go to lunch around 1:15pm..he's always with a client or with a group of people...."

"Wow every time I see that guy at the library he seems so focused on his school work and I find that really attractive."

"There's a girl who comes into the bookstore where I work who takes my breath away every time I see her...but I don't think she'd date a guy like me."

"I've been friends with this woman that I've known for the past 3 years and although I've always found her attractive I don't think she'd ever see me in a romantic way."

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you see someone that has caught your eye but they have no idea you exist….You may see them at the company luncheons because they work in a different department…or a customer that happens to shop on the same days you do at the local supermarket.

So I was wondering what do you do…or should I say what have you done to get someone’s attention. Did you drop that orange hoping they would pick it up and strike up a conversation? Have you ever “appeared” to have a problem so that you could ask them for help?

For the Women I ask: Would you prefer to be approached or wait to be noticed?

For the Man: Do you ever wish that woman would approach you or do you prefer to make the 1st move?

Under The Weather

Hey Everyone,

I'm a bit under the weather so I'm laying in my bed right now typing this post on my phone...So I'm going to keep this short and challenge you with a question that I was wondering about over the weekend.

When you have reached the end of your time here on earth..

What would you want people to remember about you??

What would you hope people would say about you as a person?

Hit me with something to read while I recover!

Thanks for Reading!

Just_Wondering :-)

Moderate Comments

Hey Guys,

From now on I'll be moderating my comments because random people have recently been posting nonsense on my Blog! So I just wanted to give you a heads up. I really didn't want to do it but I have no choice.

Thanks!

Just_Wondering

**********CHECK OUT TWO NEW POSTS BELOW **********

Choices and Consequences

Elle had locked herself in the bathroom even though she was all alone in her apartment.. She looked in the mirror and began sobbing uncontrollably. Her mind was reeling and she couldn’t think straight. She lowered herself and sat on the lid of the toilet bowl and stared at the wrappers and the plastic indicators that had all confirmed something she feared would not happen at this stage in her life. She was pregnant……Elle took a total of six home pregnancy tests because as she took the 1^st one to the 5^th one, she was convinced that they were all wrong. How could she have been so stupid, how could she have thought that this couldn’t happen to her. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the bathroom, because if she did…it would mean that the truth would be released into the world. Once she crossed that threshold, she would officially have to be held accountable for her actions and deal with the consequences.

Elle took a piece of toilet paper and wiped her tears away. She slowly collected all the remnants of the pregnancy tests and threw them in the trash. It was time to face reality…she reached for the doorknob…as she turned it…. her heart sank because she had no idea what her life would be like in the next couple of months.

Elle felt alone and scared. She sat on her bed and thought about the past couple of months. You see…Elle had loved her life up until this point. She was in her last year in college, she had tons of friends, and was looking forward to the future. She knew she didn’t really want to be in any serious relationships so she dated whoever caught her eye. Her mind rewinded to a series of images in which she tried to remember when she could have conceived the child she was carrying.

Was it Gerald or Daniel? She had kept both relationships with these men within the last 3-6 months, yet she couldn’t bring herself to break ties with either one. The tears began streaming down her eyes again and she thought “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!” This is not what she wanted right now. Why wasn’t she smart enough to have asked them to wear a condom? In the heat of the moment it all just felt so right and so good.

Her plans for the future are forever altered…She had always imagined she’d have children when she married the love of her life. Never did she think that she may be a single mom.

Elle picked up the phone and dialed Gerald’s number……

“Hello, Gerald….We need to talk….Can you come over to my place?”

After speaking to Gerald, who was on his way over, she picked up the phone yet again but this time to dialed Daniel’s number. She’d have to tell Daniel over the phone because he had gone back to North Carolina to finish off his last semester of college.

“Hello Daniel….I’m pregnant…..”

Words From Just Wondering

Over the years I’ve witnessed a few situations in which women have found their lives forever changed because they made the wrong choices about protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unexpected pregnancy.

Have you ever been in this senerio?

In your experience what were some of the reasons why some women in your life who were in this situation didn’t protect themselves?

If you were Elle’s close friend what would you tell her about her situation?