Choices and Consequences

Elle had locked herself in the bathroom even though she was all alone in her apartment.. She looked in the mirror and began sobbing uncontrollably. Her mind was reeling and she couldn’t think straight. She lowered herself and sat on the lid of the toilet bowl and stared at the wrappers and the plastic indicators that had all confirmed something she feared would not happen at this stage in her life. She was pregnant……Elle took a total of six home pregnancy tests because as she took the 1^st one to the 5^th one, she was convinced that they were all wrong. How could she have been so stupid, how could she have thought that this couldn’t happen to her. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the bathroom, because if she did…it would mean that the truth would be released into the world. Once she crossed that threshold, she would officially have to be held accountable for her actions and deal with the consequences.

Elle took a piece of toilet paper and wiped her tears away. She slowly collected all the remnants of the pregnancy tests and threw them in the trash. It was time to face reality…she reached for the doorknob…as she turned it…. her heart sank because she had no idea what her life would be like in the next couple of months.

Elle felt alone and scared. She sat on her bed and thought about the past couple of months. You see…Elle had loved her life up until this point. She was in her last year in college, she had tons of friends, and was looking forward to the future. She knew she didn’t really want to be in any serious relationships so she dated whoever caught her eye. Her mind rewinded to a series of images in which she tried to remember when she could have conceived the child she was carrying.

Was it Gerald or Daniel? She had kept both relationships with these men within the last 3-6 months, yet she couldn’t bring herself to break ties with either one. The tears began streaming down her eyes again and she thought “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!” This is not what she wanted right now. Why wasn’t she smart enough to have asked them to wear a condom? In the heat of the moment it all just felt so right and so good.

Her plans for the future are forever altered…She had always imagined she’d have children when she married the love of her life. Never did she think that she may be a single mom.

Elle picked up the phone and dialed Gerald’s number……

“Hello, Gerald….We need to talk….Can you come over to my place?”

After speaking to Gerald, who was on his way over, she picked up the phone yet again but this time to dialed Daniel’s number. She’d have to tell Daniel over the phone because he had gone back to North Carolina to finish off his last semester of college.

“Hello Daniel….I’m pregnant…..”

Words From Just Wondering

Over the years I’ve witnessed a few situations in which women have found their lives forever changed because they made the wrong choices about protecting themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unexpected pregnancy.

Have you ever been in this senerio?

In your experience what were some of the reasons why some women in your life who were in this situation didn’t protect themselves?

If you were Elle’s close friend what would you tell her about her situation?

Who Is Just_Wondering?

Hey Bloggers, Anonymous Commenters, and Lurkers that come and read but are too afraid to comment lol...I just realized that I’ve started this blog roughly 6 months ago! My friend Product Junkie Diva helped me start this entire journey and I’m so happy that she convinced me to do a Blog. I call it my outlet because it gives me an opportunity to share my thoughts on topics I find myself chatting about with my friends and family.

So here’s the deal! I’m going to give you guys the opportunity to ask me questions about whatever you’d like to know (not that I’m all together that exciting) but sometimes its good to tell people a little about yourself so that they can know more about the person behind the Blog. So here is your chance!

Post a question as a comment and I’ll do my best to answer it!

Thanks For Reading and I'm looking foward to your questions (uh oh I'm scared now lol)

Those Words Hurt So Much

Oh my Goodness…..I said something I shouldn’t have said. How could I have let my anger, my emotions, my pain get the best of me? Why didn’t I just take the time to think about it before the words flew out of my mouth? What do I do now? All I can think about is how she feels right now. What would it be like to hear those words coming out of her mouth?

Words are very powerful…They can build confidence and can also make you feel lower then you’ve ever felt. Words can stay with you and you can hear something hurtful being played in your head over and over again. Someone can trigger a distant memory by mentioning a phrase that can have your mind reeling for the entire day and can also lead to sleepless nights

I said something hurtful two weeks ago to someone that I care about. In that moment when it happened, I couldn’t contain how I was feeling. I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone to say what I wanted so I opted to send it via text (something I don’t recommend but under the circumstances I really didn’t want to speak on the phone) So I typed one word after the next as I felt like I was giving birth to a ball of pain. Although I care about this dear friend of mine, I didn’t really take the time to choose my words wisely. I wanted to express one thing….but in turn I communicated something totally different. In the end, my friend was hurt.

See I didn’t know how bad it was until I took a break for a few days because I was hurting too. I prayed about getting my peace back and then thought that it would be best to meet up. When we met up and we talked about everything….Oh My….I really made my friend feel horrible…I did all that I could to fix the problem…I said sorry….I explained my actions….I wish I could take it all back….but I couldn’t.

So I went home thinking about how much my words weigh…How they would have felt if thrown in my direction from someone who I thought cared about me? I wanted to pick up the phone and say that I was sooooooo sorry…over…and over…and over again.

How do you fix the situation when you’ve said something hurtful?

Do you feel you should say sorry just once?

Do you ever try to put yourself in that person’s shoes?

What have you learned after the situation was repaired?

I've been Gone...But Now I'm Back!

Hey Everyone,

Ok I feel horrible because I haven't posted in such a long time! I took a much needed vacation and a mental vacation too. Sometimes when you do so much you don't take the time to slow down...stop...and wonder why you are always running. I went away to Florida for a few days and I thought about so many things about my life and when I came back to made a few changes and set some goals for myself.

So thank you all for reading my blog...Thanks for coming back...Thanks for commenting... Thanks to Amina (you're always the 1st to post lol), Product Junkie Diva, Calming Corners, Marcus, Frugalista Files, Therapeutic Musings, my newbies Laughing808, and Silverback, and my Anonymous Crew that come by whenever I tell them I've posted something new!

I encourage all of you to subscribe to my blog because to be honest I try and post at least once a week but sometimes things get a little crazy on my end. I'm sorry about that, but if you subscribe on the left side of this page you'll be "in the know" about what I've posted asap.

Thanks so much for making this experience so great!

Just_Wondering aka Myriame

Friendships

I was thinking about my friendships the other day and I’ve noticed that some people have entered my life for a brief moment in time, some friends I’ve had to walk away from, and others have lingered but our relationships have changed a bit because of numerous reasons (e.g. moved away, got married) Whatever the case may be, I realized that with every new friendship I was faced with the opportunity to learn something new about someone and to build a bond with them. Some friends you speak to everyday, others you text back and forth, or you may find yourself meeting up with a friend only once or twice a year even though you live in the same city!! lol

So I thought about my friends of the past, and present just wondering how they all began. What did I see in them that made me want to be friends? What did I do to get things started? If you could tell me the secret to developing a friendship with someone what would those steps be?

Thanks for Reading!

If You Could Stop Time.......

Vanessa stepped off the plane into Miami International Airport beyond excited! It was her first trip to South Beach and she couldn’t wait to shop, take in the scenery, hangout at the beach (not in the water cause she can’t swim lol) and dance dance dance her way as she enjoyed the nightlife. Her girlfriend Trisha and Trisha’s bestfriend Damon were ready for their four day vacation. Everything was amazing! The hotel, the palm trees, even the hot summer blazing heat was inviting. Nothing….I mean nothing could go wrong during this fun filled getaway. Or so she thought!

On their second day of bliss something happened that made Vanessa wish that she could stop time and find a way to erase everyone’s memories. Something that she wished for just one moment she could roll up into a tiny ball and hide under a rock. What could possibly make her feel this way you ask?? Well then picture this…..

Vanessa, Trisha and Damon were all dressed and ready to go to the beach. Vanessa is not a big fan of the beach because she’s afraid of drowning in the ocean! Homegirl cannot swim and having 10 lessons at the YMCA wouldn’t let that water get past her ankles! Vanessa was also not excited about wearing the bathing suit she had on. You see she was a bit self conscious about being in a bathing suit but she really didn’t have a choice. They chilled on the blanket for a while and talked about life lol well mostly about how lucky they were because they had escaped the hustle and bustle of the NYC metro area where they were from.

Trisha and Damon were DYING to get into the water and somehow coaxed Vanessa into getting her ankles wet! Lol When she got into the water she was terrified! Trisha and Damon were coaxing her into moving deeper and deeper into the ocean where she found herself submerged up to her waist. Vanessa started to feel confident, secure, and fearless!!! She was diving into the waves and she was having a great time…until she came up from one huge wave that seemed to have caused her to lose her footing…however she caught herself and didn’t fall…she stood up and looked around for her friends as they looked to see if she was ok.

Damon looked at her and Vanessa smiled and said

“I’m ok but that was pretty scary!”

He say’s “No it’s not that, um Vanessa you top came off a bit…”

Vanessa looks down and that’s when the world stopped for a second too long. There….in that moment she had wished she could roll up into a tiny ball and hide under a rock…. Her boob had made it’s grand appearance and Damon had to be the person to point it out to her!

HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After that incident she couldn’t help but think “I should have never gone into that WATER!!!!”

I hoped you enjoyed reading that story because it was in fact a true story! Vanessa’s true identity was in fact yours truly when I went to Maimi at 23yrs old….lol Now it has become a distant running joke that I laugh about now !

Have you had any moments when you’ve felt so embarrassed you wanted to stop time?? DO TELL US about it!!!!

Thanks for Reading!!!

Are You Getting Yourself Prepared..?

….Hey….it’s me…I was thinking…Oh I’m sorry…Here’s an invitation to what I’ve been wondering about lately……Welcome to my thoughts…..I was looking back at my life and to be quite honest I’ve been blessed…I have accomplished most of what I wanted at stage in my life. I got an education; I have a career that I love, and a great place to work... I’m healthy, my family is with me and I have friends…

I was thinking about how I got it all… What did I do….for the most part I realized that I prayed and then got myself prepared for each step I took. When I finished HS I knew I wanted to go to college so I got prepared and made a list of schools I wanted then applied. When I went to class, I learned the material and went home to go back over everything so that I’d be prepared for the exams. I got myself ready, I studied, I researched what I didn’t really know or understand.. right….Well lets keep going…I promise you that I’m getting somewhere with this……I knew I wanted to buy a car someday but first I needed to drive!! I needed to get ready to get on the road before I could officially call myself a driver….I take continuing education courses to make sure that I’m on top of my game to better serve my clients…I start looking up all the information I need in order to invest my money so I could get ready for retirement…

The more I thought about it…the more I realized that I did something to prepare myself for the unknown…for college…for those exams…for that road test...for my monetary investments…. So then I started to wonder…I wondered about the other things I’d like to see happen in my future…marriage…kids…however I began to realize when it comes to something as big as marriage that people aren’t getting themselves prepared….Something that will affect the rest of your life…Something so complicated as falling in love…. Now I used the word complicated because it’s just that…Love and developing a relationship is hard work….Marriage is about two people becoming one…Have you ever wondered about what it would be like to take a course on marriage before you jumped the broom. I know you can’t know everything…but maybe just maybe you could do some research, speak to a few married or divorce couples just to get some insight about the idea of happily ever after (if that is even at all possible cause living in today’s age is no fairytale)

How amazing would it be to know what pitfalls to avoid before you get to them before you get married? How to resolve issues? How to communicate your feelings? Isn’t it ironic that people get themselves prepared in one way or another for a lot of things in life but they don’t get prepared or try to figure out what it would take to have a successful marriage….?

If marriage is on your to do list, is there really anyway to get yourself prepared (and I’m not talking about when you are engaged already…way before that?)

So I ask you this…..

Do you feel like there is a way to get yourself prepared and if so what would you be willing to do to prepare for it? Have you done anything so far? If so what was it?

Why is it that with everything else we are ready to do the research to get ourselves prepared for the unknown…but we often walk into marriage thinking we can take a crash course at the alter…?